How to Handle Being Slapped by a Dame: A Gentleman's Guide
No one plans to get slapped. Especially not in public. But hey, maybe you said something you shouldn't have. Perhaps you acted in a way that was less than charming. Or, you might just remind her of the scoundrel she got rid of. Whatever the reason, when a dame's hand makes contact with your cheek in a room full of wide-eyed spectators, you'd better know how to react. So, without further ado, here are Alex Exum's four invaluable steps on handling a slap like a man:
1. Do Not React – The Statue Method:
Upon impact, remember, you're a statue. Do not attempt to retaliate or defend. Stoicism is your best friend. By standing firm and silent, you send a message of strength. The other ladies in the room will respect your composed reaction, and the men present? Well, they're just relieved they're not the ones sporting a red handprint.
2. Lean In – Show Them You Can Take It:
Sounds crazy, right? But leaning into the slap, rather than away from it, communicates a few key things. Firstly, it shows you're tough enough to take it. Secondly, it indicates that you're giving her another chance to vent. Strange as it seems, this act of seeming submission is actually a show of courage.
3. The Smirk – Embrace the Humor of the Situation:
Once the storm has passed and she's exited the scene, lean back, and allow a knowing smirk to form. Sure, it hurt. But pain is fleeting while dignity lasts forever. This slap won't define you - it's just another tale in your book of life.
4. Throw Out a Witty Line – Make 'em Laugh:
Shrug your shoulders and deliver a well-timed quote. Here are a couple of suggestions:
For a walk-out scenario, say, "I probably deserved that." A mix of humility and humor goes a long way.
Or, you could confidently state, "She'll be back." Make sure it's heard but not overly dramatic. You're not performing a monologue; you're just being you.
There you have it, gents. You've just survived your first slap. Remember, it's all about handling the situation with grace, charm, and a dash of humor. After all, tomorrow's another day, and who knows - she might just be impressed by how well you handled it.
Final thoughts: If you got slapped, you probably deserved it. If not, dump her. You ain't nobody punching bag either.